A Strange Planet
by katara333k
Summary: The Doctor and River visit a Strange Planet.


River was feeling very tiger-like lately. So far four people with their faces painted a sickly green color had tried to break into her jail cell.

River disliked the color green, so this was very displeasing to her. She had kicked every one of them that had to tried to get in in the face. One time her heel even went up a dude's nose. River was very proud of herself for that one.

Really, River was just waiting for the night. The doctor had promised to take her to a giant party on a planet where the gravity only held you if you were wearing a pink polka dot dress. She wasn't fooled though. She knew the Doctor just wanted her to wear a pink polka dot dress. She highly doubted that he would wear one, though it would be mighty entertaining.

Then, suddenly another green-faced man started pounding on her cell with a giant hammer shaped like a hang glider. River took the hang glider-shaped hammer and hit him in the face with it. It knocked the man out and security threw him in the trash chute.

River watched the clock tick until it was finally nine. She heard the TARDIS before she saw it. Then it materialized inside of her cell. The Doctor stepped out and held out his hand for River. In his other hand was a pink polka-dot dress. They stepped into the TARDIS together.

"So I assume you want me to put this on." River said while grabbing the dress out of the Doctor's manly hands. "Also, I enjoy your manly hands."

"Yes," said the doctor "My hands remind me of a monkey and I would like you to put that dress on."

"Isn't the gravity not going to work if you don't wear one too?"

"That was a lie, I just think that dress would look as spectacular as a person with giant feet wearing earmuffs."

"Thanks….I think." said River

River changed into the dress and the Doctor flew the TARDIS to a planet called Roberto. It was the planet of the Mexican wrestlers. They arrived at Roberto and River twirled like a lady in a fancy tampon commercial.

"I love it when you twirl like a monkey's great aunt." the Doctor said to River.

River took this as such a gigantic compliment that she kept twirling until she fell on the side walk and a random stranger walked by and squawked like a bird. River got up and gave the Doctor a big hug full of fladoodles.

The Doctor loved fladoodles so he hugged River tighter and a bunch of fladoodles fell out of her dress onto the sidewalk. The Doctor did push ups out of sheer excitement.

"HEY!" the Doctor yelled "LET'S GO BUY SOME HAMBURGERS, I HAVE A CRAVING FOR PICKLES AND HAMBURGER'S ARE A PERFECT THING TO GO WITH THOSE PICKLES!"

River liked hamburgers, so they went to a hamburger shop down the street from where they were standing. They ate some hamburgers.

For some strange reason, the hamburgers tasted like chicken. River had already finished her hamburger so the Doctor licked her tongue to see if hers tasted like chicken too. It did. They had to solve this mystery.

They went exploring throughout this planet of Mexican wrestlers until they found a man named CHICKEN HAMBURGER MAN. They suspected that he may have had something to do with their hamburgers tasting like chicken.

CHICKEN HAMBURGER MAN confessed to making their hamburgers taste like chicken. The Doctor and River were satisfied and decided that it was time for them to go to the party. It was at Mexican wrestler Viki's house.

They searched for Viki's house for a whole hour until they finally found a talking monkey that led the way to his house. They politely thanked the monkey and rang Viki's doorbell.

Then a man in green face paint opened the door and River automatically punched him in the face. She then grabbed the Doctor's hand and ran with him back toward the TARDIS.

Once they were in the TARDIS, the doctor made it so that it was just floating around in space.

"So, what do you want to do now?" the Doctor asked River.

River whispered something in the Doctor's ear. Then, the doctor instinctively took his clothes off like a bear that wears clothes would take his clothes off. Then they did a sexy time dance.

THE END


End file.
